Suffering with Hope: Five ways to Suffer Well

Anger. Sadness. Fear. Hope. One of the words seems out of place from the rest; however, hope can be the sustaining piece amid those feelings. In this world, we will have trouble as Jesus clearly states. But to endure the “trouble,” we need to learn to suffer well.

 Why Suffer?

 Why do children die? Why do good people face horrible circumstances? Why any suffering? No answer will suffice to those questions. And the goal is not necessarily to find an answer to those questions. The goal is to figure out how to make it through those circumstances and still remain standing.

 Curt Thompson states it simply and well in his book The Deepest Place, “To be human is to suffer.” We see that throughout history, and certainly in Jesus’ death on the cross. Fully God and fully human, he suffered for our sakes. Suffering happens. Sometimes it happens for redemption, because of our choices, because of sin, because of_______(and you fill in the blank.) The question we must ask is not how to escape suffering; rather, how can we respond to suffering and endure the journey.

 We are often so busy trying not to suffer that we never learn how to suffer. And when we do suffer, we want to pretend like we do not because we do not know what to do with the pain present. C.S. Lewis in The Problem of Pain states, “But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” It is through suffering that sometimes we find the Cross, we find the hope that has been unattainable, and we sometimes even find our true selves in the middle of the anguish.

 Suffering will happen. But we can endure it and be even stronger because of it. Maybe these five tips will help you through the suffering you may face.

 Five Ways to Suffer with Hope

 1)    Suffering and hope can coexist

 When we hear the loved one tell us of their terminal diagnosis, when we discover infidelity, when we face atrocities that should not even exist, it is hard to fathom hope. We want justice, healing, and more; hope is not typically on the radar in the midst of our pain.

However, what would happen if hope was the first response and not the last? This does not mean we forgo our feelings. We do not encourage spiritual bypass for the sake of not suffering. It means that we allow both the anger AND the hope of knowing that anger will pass. We allow the sadness AND the hope that redemption of the pain will come. We allow ourselves to experience both knowing one is not lost because of the other.

 2)    Evil never rests

We live in a fallen where evil “prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Yet, we walk around like we can escape every turn of the screw, if you will. We may try to pretend like this world cannot hurt us. We may choose to ignore the evil in front of us. We may even believe we are beyond being hurt. However, all of those thoughts will make us unable to endure the suffering when it comes.

Evil is on this earth. We see it everywhere we turn, even in our most sacred places. Curt Thompson shares, “Evil tries to get us to forget that we already are like God.” We are created in his image; however, evil encourages us to hide just as Adam and Eve in the garden. And when we hide, we cannot be real with ourselves, our pain, and cannot embrace the hope we so desperately seek. Therefore, acknowledging our humanity and what we are going through is a key element in overcoming what evil seeks to do.

 3)    Naming our wounds

 When we try to deny our pain, the wounds we have endured, we only create more weight to carry inside of us. However, naming our wounds in the presence of those safe for us to do so provides an opportunity for someone to bear witness and validate our pain. Additionally, we experience the peace of sharing within community our burdens, our pain living out Galatians 6:2.

Secondly, when we name our wounds, when we give language to our pain, there is a relief that comes. No longer is our pain nameless and invisible; it now can be spoken rather than hidden, healed rather than concealed. We offer ourselves validation for our pain allowing for movement in the healing process.

 4)    Expect the suffering

Jesus tells in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble.” However, we spend most of our time trying to do what Thompson states as “anti-suffering.” In doing so, we never learn how to suffer, how to make it through the suffering, and how to truly live in peace.

 Running from suffering does not mean we live in peace; we actually live anxiously waiting for the proverbial other shoe to fall. If we want to true peace no matter what comes, we need to learn how to deal with whatever comes. We need to learn to suffer legitimately.

Working through suffering may include asking for help, developing coping skills, finding community, acknowledging your pain, returning responsibility to others for their actions, and accepting responsibility for our own. When we do this, we set the stage for hope to take shape in our lives.

 5)    Practice perseverance

 James 1:2-5 and 2 Corinthians 1:6 reminds us of the power of perseverance. But if we never practice how to persevere, we will be running from our pain with hope out of our grasp.

 When practicing perseverance, we allow our mind, body, and heart to discover it can make it through harrowing events, especially our mind. Thompson calls practicing perseverance as the SNAG our brain needs: Stimulate Neuronal Activation and Growth. When we practice continually the act of perseverance, our brains begin to develop new neural pathways that allow us to think differently and begin to behave within new healthy thought patterns.

Additionally, when we practice acknowledging our pain, naming our wounds, and sharing our burdens, we are practicing perseverance. We are allowing ourselves to be seen. This, in turn, allows us to experience hope, the very crux of perseverance.

 Conclusion

 No one wakes up excited for a day of suffering. However, with everyday living in a fallen world, suffering may happen. Even though suffering may be presetn, we can live as Romans 5:5 tells us, “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.” We can suffer and be hopeful that we will persevere through the pain. We experience hope “as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (Hebrews 6:19).