Reclaim your Identity: Letting go of “Broken”
You want to make my eye twitch? Call yourself broken. I cannot even count how many people have sat in my office and said, “I’m broken” or asked me, “Am I too broken to be helped?” Each time my eye twitches, but my heart breaks. It breaks not only because of the amount of shame that outlook brings, but also because it is not biblical.
Breaking down Broken
When you think of the word broken what comes to mind? Shattered objects, trash, damaged beyond repair, defective? The top two definitions Webster offers is “having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order” and “having given up all hope.” A simple google of synonyms of the word broken displays words such as fragmented, ruined, destroyed, worn-out, faulty, defeated, failed, and beaten. And when people use the term broken in my office, these concepts are exactly what they are intending. However, this is not what God intended.
According to Strong’s Concordance, the Hebrew word for broken is shabar. It means to break into pieces, to be broken, wrecked, or shattered. There are roughly 200 uses of this term in the Old Testament. Additionally, the Greek the word for broken is klasma originating from klao. It means a fragment or broken piece. There are around 65 uses of this term in the New Testament. Interestingly, neither in the Greek nor Hebrew text is a person ever referred to as broken. The passages speak of a broken heart, broken altars, broken bread, but never a broken person.
When people use this term in relation to God’s acceptance of them, it is often a sense of loathness, disgust, with shame as a cherry on top. Some people have even equated this type of belief as humility and the humbleness God desires. This is not what God desires for His children. This view of oneself stands in opposition not only to the character of Christ, but also to God’s word.
A Healthy Look at Broken
God calls us to a life of wholeness in body, heart, and mind. Viewing ourselves as broken, damaged, defeated, or beaten does not allow us to experience wholeness. In fact, it drives a wedge between us, and the freedom God desires for us. The brokenness God calls us to is a spiritual vulnerability. It leads us to experience wholeness and freedom as we approach Christ with a broken and contrite heart.
The Psalmist states, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:17). David understood what it meant to have a broken spirit, a contrite heart. He also understood the power of acknowledging his sin and repenting of that sin (the sacrifice of the broken spirit). This verse encourages self-reflection leading us to ask ourselves, “What sin is in my life?” and “Am I willing to let go of that sin to draw near to Christ?” Notice it does not lead us to believe we are damaged, defeated, or ruined. Quite the opposite, actually. It leads us to know that we can have redemption and wholeness in Christ.
Another look at brokenness is within the Beatitudes. Jesus states in Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn (some versions use the term “broken-hearted”), for they shall be comforted.” Again, the person is not what Jesus states is broken, but the heart. And, in truth and grace I write this, sometimes we need a broken heart. As the song Hosanna eloquently states,
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
This brokenness allows for us to draw near to God and to see his children as He sees them. It also allows us to experience a healthy humility, not one that casts us as a disgusting species that abhors God. When we implement a healthy humility, we recognize our limitations. We recognize God is Lord and we are not. However, this humility does not mean we are nobodies who are unworthy of love. Jesus clearly showed his love for us on the cross not waiting for us to be “perfect” first, but “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
How to Move from Unhealthy to Healthy
I remember a service I attended after a long hiatus from all things Christian, and the message that day was “You are God’s masterpiece.” After the service was over, I walked to my car, buried my face in my steering wheel and wept crying out to God, “I know I am too broken for you to use, but thank you for bringing me home.” Being a Christian since I was in eighth grade, I had often been taught, and perceived in my own mind, that I was a broken being who was unlovable, unworthy, and undeserving and the only way to be anything was in Christ. I continued in that mindset even after my renewal in Christ. And God was not for it. The view of myself was not His truth of any of His children. He ripped the carpet out from under me and brought me to a place where I started my healing journey unraveling those unhealthy thoughts and perceptions. I discovered in this journey that I was not broken (defeated, shattered, worthless, unusable, or damaged). I was God’s masterpiece. I was his child, “a royal priesthood belonging to God” (I Peter 2:9). I was fearfully and wonderfully made, knit together by Him (Psalm 139). No longer did I walk with my head down in embarrassment or shame. I started walking in the truth and grace of Christ. I moved from unhealthy to healthy brokenness.
While many of us have walked under the unhealthy falsity of being abhorrent sinful beings, that is not God’s truth for us. We are sinners. We make mistakes, we hurt people, we _________(fill in the blank). But this does not make us broken people or unworthy of God’s love. It makes us people who live a fallen world where sin is present in us and in this world. leading us to need of his love even more. He desires us to draw near to him, to know the truth, love, hope, freedom, and the grace he has for us! Sometimes the truth will not feel good, but know that He is for you, He longs for you. Here are a few ways you can move from an unhealthy to a healthy view of brokenness.
1) Know God’s word for yourself
You do not need to be a theologian or Bible scholar to know God’s word. Hiding God’s word in your heart will help you to not fall victim to false beliefs, incorrect ideas, or other distorted truths (Psalm 119:11). You can pray and ask God to lead you to passages of scripture or choose a Bible study that allows you a deeper study of God’s word. You are the only one that can know God’s word for you. No one else can hide it in your heart or help you think on things above (Philip. 4:8). You are the only that can do it for you.
2) Be mindful of your mind
Sometimes our biggest battles are in our mind. We need to pay attention to what our minds are telling us. If they are telling us things that are harmful, that speak death over us, we need to flee from those thoughts and hold them captive (2 Corin. 10:5). We do this by assessing if those thoughts align with God’s word. Next, replace the thought with truth. For example, if you believe you are not worthy, that you are too broken for God or anyone, that is false. There is no scripture that supports that thought. You can replace the thought with “I am valuable/significant/worthy.” And back that up with 1 Peter 2:9, John 3:16, or Ephesians 2:10. It will take a while for this thought to become your truth, but when we think on things above, we provide opportunity for our thoughts to shift (Philip. 4:8). However, sometimes we need more help, and that is okay! If your negative thoughts are still pressing and are not diminishing, this does not mean you are doing something wrong. It simply means you need more support and talking to a professional counselor or minister can help you with the support you need to shift your thoughts.
3) Know your worth
Unfortunately, some of us have experienced another person shattering our worth. Their toxicity, abuse, and lies have convinced us that we are broken, that we are nothing. Again, their truth is not truth. If this is where you are, get help. Find a space where you can share these hurts and receive the healing you deserve. You can do this with a professional counselor, maybe a close friend, or a minister. You are worth more than words can describe, but words is all have right now, so let’s be clear of your worth, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” Live in that truth!
On this side of heaven, we will struggle with knowing our worth and value. The enemy “prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). And what better way to devour someone than in the mind. It is what the enemy started with in the Garden and still uses today. But you now have knowledge to defeat his ways. Remember: you are not broken, you are beautiful. You are not loathsome, you are loved. You are not shameful, you are sanctified. You are not repulsive, you are redeemed. Believe that, live that!