Letting God Redeem the “No’s” and “Not Right Now’s”
Another decline. Another disappointment. Another “Why Lord?” It seems I would be able to accept these moments by now; however, the “no’s” and “not right now’s” still bring that little twinge of pain. What matters most today though is how I live out these moments.
The Lament
This morning on my way to work I received notice that I was not selected to present at a conference which I really wanted to present. This is my second time to submit a proposal and second denial. Is this a big deal in the grand scheme of life? Absolutely not. However, it is disappointing when I want something so much, and yet it remains out of reach. Of course, I wish I could tell you I simply brushed this off and went on with life. However, as I type this I am irritable, and, if I am honest, a little pouty about it. God and I had our conversation on my way to work about all this too. And he reminded me of the verse I studied this morning.
Before receiving the news, my verse today was Lamentations 3:58, “You, Lord, took up my case; you redeemed my life.” When I studied this morning, I reveled in the beauty of his literal redemption of my life and the fact he thought me worthy enough to redeem. However, I look at this differently even now.
Redeeming the “No’s” and “Not Right Now’s”
Maybe “taking up my case” today means “no” and “not right now”? I do not know why there is a “no” today, but this is where faith comes in. And I can have both faith and be disappointed. I can trust the Lord is doing what he believes is best for me while also being disappointed or sad that I have a dream deferred. I must live in the “And” currently. I want this AND I cannot have it right now. This is not an easy realm in which to live. Yet, faith will sustain me while in this realm.
Additionally, the “redeemed my life” may look a little different than I anticipated. I do believe God's word is logos, the written word of God and what he provided me this morning was the literal portion of his word. I also believe that God provides rhema to us, a personal word. For each of us it may be something different, but it will never misalign with God’s character or word. Today, God has also provided rhema through his word: “redeemed my life.”
God’s gentle whisper to me amid my disappointment is, “Redeeming is a process. This is not the “ed” yet of the redeeming.” At this moment, I do not feel just “whoo, hoo” about that word from the Lord, but it does bring some comfort and peace. It means this is not the end of my passion and desire to share the love of Christ through teaching what healthy spirituality is and how it can be achieved. This does not mean that I cannot still work on tools to share with others about healthy spirituality. It means that right now, a presentation is not the way God wants the information to be told or conversation to be had.
While I am slowly settling into this truth for me, it still hurts. It still makes me sad. However, it does not mean the end of a dream. It means I am choosing to let God lead because he knows the perfect time and direction this content needs to be shared and with whom.
What is Your Word?
For many of us we are tackling disappointment and hurts right and left. There seems to be no one, not even God, taking up our case or redeeming anything. And it can truly feel that way at times. However, God is for us. He cannot go against his word, and his word does not return void. His word is full of telling us God is with us and for us. Therefore, even in the saddest, most disappointing moments we feel, He is still pleading our case.
Exodus 14:14 - The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still
Psalm 139:7-9 - Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
Romans 8:31 - What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Isaiah 41:10 - Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Zephaniah 3:17 - The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
Matthew 28:20 - And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.
Final Thoughts
God will never leave or forsake us. His “no’s” and “not right now’s” are not a rejection or abandonment of us or our dreams. They may be a time of taking up our case or redeeming our lives. While we may not know the answer behind it all, we can rest in knowing the “kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” He is for us!