Times of Tantrums: Three ways to Walk in God’s Will and not Our Own

I wish I could tell you that it was not true. I wish I could tell you that I never do it. But here is my confession: I am a pouter. I do not like not getting my way. I want “it” when I want it and how I want it. That fleshly want has cost me a quite a few times in my life. However, even with minor pouting relapses, I am learning to trust my Father when he says “no” or “you need to wait.” If this is you too, then maybe together we can help each other out of times of tantrums through provisions, encouragement, truth, and grace.

Pouting to Tantrums

We often think pouting is for kids only, and we even get mad at kids for being kids when they do pout and throw tantrums. Yet, they are supposed to be this way because they are kids learning (and pushing) boundaries, healthy behaviors, and responses. However, do we as adults have the same latitude? The Israelites sure thought so! 

Numbers 11:4-15 conveys the story of the pouting, tantrum throwing, wailing, weeping Israelites. The Israelites were slaves in Egypt for hundreds of years. God wants them freed and uses Moses to and the ten plagues to free his people. Moses leads the people out of Egypt with the end goal being the Promise Land. However, this journey was not simply three miles up the road. In fact, it took them 40 years in the desert before they found their final home.

This long journey left the Israelites unsatisfied on varying levels causing chaos in the camp. Versions of Scripture use words such as wailing, weeping, and whining to describe the grumblings of the Israelites. They even state to Moses, “We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost – also cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!” (Numbers 11:6, NIV). Never mind that they have their freedom and enough provisions to make it to the next day and the next day and the next. They wanted instant gratification for their desires.

I wish I could say I was different, but I find myself in the same tailspin at times. I have desires, desires I do believe are God-given and directed. But I am not always successful with waiting for God to deliver them. I find myself complaining about the provisions I do have, throwing a tantrum because I am jealous someone else got their desires met, and I am still over here with the manna. It does not seem fair! Maybe you have been in this space too. Maybe this is you right now. Together we can encourage each other through the times of tantrums and spur each other on God’s will for our lives.

Walking in God’s Will

 1)    Provisions

There is no mistaking this: God gives us what we need. The Israelites were not famished; they simply did have the meat they wanted. How different things might be for us if we look to what we have rather than what we want. When we begin focusing on our wants, we lose sight of what we have, how God has provided for us in this very moment. Additionally, we may become focused on what others have, or we set our own expectations for when God will deliver, and we find ourselves disappointed when those expectations are not met.

Philippians 4 reminds us that God will meet our every need, not necessarily our wants. Paul states, “…whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want, I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Notice Paul did not claim that if he got his wants met, he would be good. Rather, he declares that he will be good because he looks to the Lord for his strength. Later in this passage he solidifies this thought, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19, NIV). Again, not all our wants will God meet, but he will meet our needs.

2)    Encouragement

While God does give us the desires of our hearts, we are to return those to him so that in his time he may fulfill them (Psalm 37:4-7). Waiting for them to be fulfilled can feel like forever. I know it has for me. I watch other people living out their desires, their dreams, and sometimes, I just cannot help but think, “Why can’t I do that?” And this is where I, maybe you also, need encouragement.

Sometimes encouragement will come from those around us who empathize with us and validate our struggle. Yet, they also redirect us and remind us that God did not call us to have desires filled, but to seek first his kingdom (Matthew 6:33). We can also find encouragement through studying God’s word and through prayer. The Psalms are full of David’s cries, yet his resolve to trust in the Lord to deliver him. Paul reveals a life full of ups and downs, yet he chooses to remain in the Lord and be obedient.

Lastly, remember as believers, we are all a part of the body of Christ. Together we can lift up one another (1 Thess. 5:11), spur each other “toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24), and encourage each other in love (Romans 12:10). In this way we can lessen the time in tantrums and move toward the love, hope and peace God readily provides us.

3)    Truth and Grace

I choose to put truth and grace together because these two elements provide excellent balance. Often we find ourselves living in and supplying others with much truth and little grace and vice versa. However, if we learn to balance these elements not only in speaking to others, but also within our own lives, we learn to accept our journey in humbleness and submission.

James 3:16-18 is a great example of both truth and grace. Verse 16 applies truth: “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” For me struggling with jealousy, I felt the “ouch” in that truth. However, grace is applied to the truth offered in verses 17: “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and open to reason, full of mercy, and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” This is the salve to the truth, to seek first God’s kingdom, not try to develop our own.

We all need to see truth so that we may shift our hearts to submit to God’s will. Inasmuch as God will supply us truth through his word and through other believers, he will also supply us grace which may come from his forgiveness, peace, hope, and healing through his word, the Holy Spirit, and through others.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes it feels good to have a fall out, flailing on the floor, screaming at the top of our lungs fit internally (maybe for some outwardly). And God allows us to do it. However, he is still going to tell us “no” or “you’ll have to wait.” He is too good of a Father to give us what we want, when we want it because he knows our needs and meets those first. He will provide us truths while also providing us grace to accept those truths. He does care for the desires and wants of our hearts; He placed them there. But in his infinite strength, grace, and mercy, he knows when we are ready to receive the fulfillment of those desires, and when others are ready to receive what God has called us to share with them. For in his time “He has made everything beautiful” (Eccl. 3:11).