The Scale Tips Both Ways
I have a scale in my office. It is the type with two little buckets on each end. If weight is measured appropriately, the scales balance. But the smallest ounce can tip the scale to one side. And though that ounce be little, it is fierce.
One area in which I notice the smallest ounce making the greatest impact is in a person’s thought processes. This shift has potential to impact a person across the board physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. To better assess a person’s thoughts, I will often bring out the scales. I also have a bucket of different size rocks. I will instruct the client to find a rock that respresents how true a statement is for him/her. For instance, I will ask, “How true is the statement ‘I’m not good enough’ to you right now?” The client will find the appropriate size rock and place it in one of the buckets. I then ask, “How true is ‘I’m fine as I am’ to your right now?” The client will find a rock that matches that truth and place it in the opposite bucket. As you may have guessed, one side is often heavier than the other: the negative side.
We do have some control in righting this balance. The key is being able to identify what truths we are living from and if it is not healthy, changing that to tip the scale to healthy. How do we do that? I’m so glad you asked!
Tipping the Scale:
1) Identify the truths
We view ourselves through various lenses, and sometimes those lenses are very skewed. They tell us we don’t matter, we have to perfect, we are worthless, etc. NONE of that is true. But how can we know that? Sometimes sharing those thoughts with a trusted, safe person can help us see clearly again. Sometimes, though, we need a professional counselor to help us navigate those thoughts to reach truth. Lastly, as a Christian, there is nothing in scripture that supports us being worthless, not mattering, not being good enough. Search the scriptures for your worth. God’s word hasn’t changed in over two thousand years, and it is not going to change today. You can stand on its truth that you are “a royal priesthood, a people belonging to God” (1 Peter 2:9).
2) Start with the positive
Research has shown that to start the process of shifting these thoughts, we have to introduce our brain to something else to think. When we read positive statements such as “I have value/worth/signficance,” this can begin the shift in thinking, even if they are not true to us in the beginning. And they will not be. The longer we have been thinking the negative thoughts, the longer it will take to shift the thinking. But they can shift! Romans 12:2 is a reminder to shift our thoughts, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” God’s heartbeat is different from this world’s. To know His truth about us, we must shift our truth.
3) Practice the positive
Dan Siegel has a phrase, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Neural pathways (things that have fired and wired together) are feelings to experiences. When we have experiences, we learn something from them and sometimes those things are very negative. Although neural pathways cannot be erased, they can be weakened. They are weakened as we practice new positive statements. We practice recognizing our worth, accepting our humanity, recognizing that we have purpose. This in turn creates an opportunity for our brain to tip the scales. We are able to move toward thinking on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).
As with any changing thing, this takes time; it does not happen over night. It takes practice and filling our minds with all that is pure, right, and lovely. And one day we will recognize how fearfully and wonderfully made we are (Psalm 139).